listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
