once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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