bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
