the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
