hell yes lets make some ravioli
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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