you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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