My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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