Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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