There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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