Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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