you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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