he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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