I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
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