i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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