ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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