College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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