After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
