ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
