How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
