He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
