By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
