Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
