I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Randomize
