i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize
