just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
