I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
