Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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