Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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