i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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