is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
