he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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