well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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