You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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