Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
