So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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