god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
