I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He better not be in your backpack
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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