I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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