I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
