that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
