don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
