Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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