Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
