Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
