That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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