Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
