Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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