I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
