and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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