whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
