we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
