I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
