We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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