I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I faked an abortion last night.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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