can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
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