Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
