the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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