apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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