Old men and throwing up are my life now.
love makes seman taste better
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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