Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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