So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I love you.
Bad choice
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