Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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