Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
