One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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