Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
