He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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