Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm at about main and main street
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
