Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you didnt know i had herpes?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
